The Key to Lasting Love: Embracing the Transcendent Third

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. The Concept of the Transcendent Third
3. The Importance of a Shared Love for Something Beyond the Relationship
4. The Deterioration of Relationships without a Transcendent Third
5. Applying the Concept to Marriage
6. Why Get Married in the Catholic Church?
7. The Role of God in Marriage
8. The Strange and Mysterious Nature of Marriage
9. Love and the Transcendent Third in Friendship and Relationships
10. Seeking God's Will in Relationships and Friendships
11. Conclusion

Love, Marriage, and Relationships: The Role of the Transcendent Third 💑

The search for love and the desire for lasting relationships have always been central to the human experience. In his writings, the renowned Greek philosopher Aristotle introduced the concept of the "transcendent third," highlighting the significance of a shared love for something beyond the individuals involved. According to Aristotle, lasting friendship and relationships thrive when the love between two people extends beyond themselves and encompasses a shared devotion to a higher ideal or entity.

1. Introduction

Love and relationships are foundational aspects of human existence, shaping our happiness and well-being. In this article, we will explore the concept of the transcendent third and its role in fostering enduring friendships, successful marriages, and meaningful relationships. By understanding the importance of looking beyond ourselves in our connections with others, we can cultivate deeper connections and find fulfillment in our interactions.

2. The Concept of the Transcendent Third

Aristotle's notion of the transcendent third suggests that genuine friendship is sustained when two individuals share a love for something greater than themselves. Rather than solely focusing on their love for each other, the relationship is fortified by a mutual affection for a transcendental element. This could be a love for their country, truth, beauty, cinema, books, or any other noble cause that surpasses their individual interests.

The transcendent third serves as a unifying force, pulling individuals together and urging them to transcend their shared selfishness. Aristotle cautions that a friendship deteriorates into selfishness if a higher ideal does not inspire both individuals to surpass their own concerns. Paradoxically, it is this friendship built upon the transcendent third that withstands the test of time, even when the initial infatuation of falling in love fades away.

3. The Importance of a Shared Love for Something Beyond the Relationship

One can find a parallel to Aristotle's concept of the transcendent third in the teachings of the Catholic Church. Catholic liturgy emphasizes the idea that true peace and happiness arise when we give glory to God "in the highest" and wish peace upon those who genuinely love Him. By collectively loving and pursuing a transcendent good, such as God, our relationships become more peaceful and harmonious.

The predicament arises when we confine our relationships within the boundaries of human interaction alone. Unchecked self-interest can lead to conflicts, divisions, and even wars. It is only by glorifying God "in the highest" that true peace can manifest among us. This principle can extend beyond the realm of religious practice and into our everyday lives, influencing the way we approach friendships and relationships.

4. The Deterioration of Relationships without a Transcendent Third

During my time working with engaged couples in the Catholic Church, I often asked them why they chose to marry within the church. Many responded with a simple answer: "Because we love each other." While this was a joyful sentiment, I would explain that love alone is not a sufficient reason to have a Catholic wedding. Two individuals in love can declare their commitment in a civil ceremony or even have a beautiful ceremony in a forest.

However, a Catholic wedding goes beyond the love between two people. It is an affirmation that they have discovered a shared love for God and that, through His guidance, they have found each other. It is a profound and mysterious bond orchestrated by a higher power, where two people support each other in their journey towards salvation and fulfill a shared mission. Understanding this concept is essential for truly embracing the ideal of the transcendent third.

5. Applying the Concept to Marriage

Fulton Sheen, a noted Catholic theologian, recognized the value of the transcendent third in his book titled "Three to Get Married." He echoed Aristotle's thoughts, emphasizing that marriage is not merely a union between two individuals. It involves a third party: God. It is the collective love for God and the shared commitment to fulfill His purpose that lays the foundation for a Christian marriage.

Expanding this concept further, we can apply the idea of the transcendent third to our approach to friendships and relationships. By keeping this Aristotelian principle in mind, we can experience a deeper sense of happiness and contentment. Rather than seeking love solely for the sake of love, we should seek a partner who shares our love for a transcendent cause or purpose. By doing so, we will find someone with whom we can truly connect and grow.

6. Why Get Married in the Catholic Church?

Getting married in the Catholic Church is not merely an act of proclaiming love between two individuals. It involves a profound declaration that the couple has discovered and embraced a shared love for God. By uniting themselves before God and His people, they express their desire to embark on married life in His presence. This act epitomizes Aristotle's concept of "loving the transcendent third" at its finest.

Pros:

• Strengthening the spiritual foundation of the marriage
• Aligning the relationship with a higher purpose
• Connecting with a faith community for support and guidance

Cons:

• Exclusion of couples who do not share the same religious beliefs
• Limited access to wedding venues and officiants outside of the Catholic Church

7. The Role of God in Marriage

When two individuals discern and accept God's role in their marriage, they acknowledge that their union goes beyond mere chance or romantic attraction. They recognize that God, through His divine will, has brought them together to support and love one another. This recognition forms the basis of their commitment to a Christian marriage.

8. The Strange and Mysterious Nature of Marriage

The nature of marriage extends beyond the conventional "boy meets girl" narrative. It is a phenomenon that defies easy explanation, as it involves a third, mysterious element: God Himself. It is through His intricate workings that two individuals are united, not simply by their initial meeting and subsequent love but by a divine purpose that surpasses human comprehension.

9. Love and the Transcendent Third in Friendship and Relationships

The concept of the transcendent third is not limited to marriage alone; it can be applied more broadly to friendships and other relationships. By embracing this Aristotelian principle, we can find greater fulfillment and happiness in our connections with others. Instead of solely seeking love, we should strive to find someone who shares our passion for a higher purpose, someone with whom we can embark on a meaningful journey.

10. Seeking God's Will in Relationships and Friendships

It is crucial to seek God's will and His purpose in all our relationships and friendships. By surrendering our desires to a higher power and aligning them with His plan, we can experience deeper connections and more fulfilling interactions. By following this path, we will not only find love but also find individuals who share our love for something greater than ourselves.

11. Conclusion

In conclusion, the concept of the transcendent third reminds us of the importance of seeking a greater purpose beyond ourselves in our pursuit of love, marriage, and relationships. By embracing this idea, we can foster enduring friendships, build meaningful relationships, and experience a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment. When love is grounded in a shared love for a transcendent good, our connections become stronger, more resilient, and more rewarding.

🌟 Highlights:

• Love and relationships thrive when shared with a transcendent third.
• Getting married in the Catholic Church involves a commitment to a shared love for God.
• Seeking someone who shares your passion for a higher purpose leads to deeper connections and fulfillment.

FAQ:

Q: Is love enough to sustain a lasting relationship? A: No, love alone is not sufficient. It requires a shared devotion to a higher purpose.

Q: Can the concept of the transcendent third be applied to friendships? A: Yes, the concept extends to friendships, where shared love for a transcendent cause deepens connections.

Q: Does getting married in the Catholic Church require a belief in God? A: Yes, a Catholic wedding is a proclamation of a shared love for God and a commitment to His purpose.